107 Funny Christmas Jokes and Puns 2023

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Christmas jokes and puns from 2023, although some older jokes might slip through

If these 107 Christmas jokes is not enough for you, please find lot more of Christmas jokes in our Christmas jokes collection

  1. What does the Gingerbread Man use to make his bed? Cookie sheets!
  2. What's Santa Claus's favourite track & field event? North Pole-vaulting!
  3. That sly smile on your face has me thinking you’re up to snow good.
  4. I didn't think this party would be such a drag; I'm snow bored.
  5. What was Santa's best subject in school? Chemistree.
  6. What did the peanut butter say to the grape on Christmas? This is the season to be jelly.
  7. What's Santa Claus's favourite type of potato chip? Crisp Pringles!
  8. All I want for Christmas is ewe.
  9. I'm pine-ing for you.
  10. Have snow fear—Christmas is here!
  11. Your presents are requested.
  12. Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh? He wanted to see time fly!
  13. What do you call a reindeer ghost? A cari-boo!
  14. I bought my son a refrigerator for Xmas – I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
  15. The moment you stop believing in Santa is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.
  16. This fire is so cozy, the snuggle is real.
  17. I'll be ho-ho-home for Xmas.
  18. A round of Santa-plause, please.
  19. Happy howlidays! Hope Santa Paws brings you lots of treats.
  20. Sending you pugs and kisses this Christmas.
  21. Who delivers Christmas presents to pets? Santa Paws.
  22. Yappy Holidays and a Happy New Year.
  23. Where does Santa stay when he goes on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.
  24. These decorations are tree-mendous.
  25. I only have ice for you.
  26. It is ice to meet you.
  27. Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
  28. How do dogs sing jingle bells? Dachshund through the snow…
  29. Merry Xmas. Hope it’s not too ruff!
  30. How do Chihuahuas say merry Christmas? iFleas Navidog.
  31. What did the dog say to the Xmas tree? Bark.
  32. Santa’s little yelper wants to wish you a Merry Christmas.
  33. Why was the dog upset about the Xmas tree? He was not even allowed to bring sticks into the house.
  34. Someone’s barking up the wrong Christmas tree.
  35. Paws a moment this Christmas to reflect on what the season is all about!
  36. What do you call a wet dog with a bell on his collar? Jingle smells!
  37. It is never chew late to wish you a Happy Holidays.
  38. If you’re lucky this Xmas, Santa Claus will grace you with his presents.
  39. That look soots you.
  40. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.
  41. Children who don’t learn to tie their shoes properly are bound to wind up on the knotty list.
  42. It is the most wonderful time for a beer.
  43. The festive season has me feeling extra Santa-mental.
  44. How do dogs decorate for Xmas? They deck the paws with bows of collie.
  45. What do you do when it’s raining cats and dogs? Nothing; as long as it does not reindeer.
  46. You sleigh me.
  47. I’ll never fir-get.
  48. In 2020, the best gift will be hand Santa-tizer.
  49. You’re the best person I snow.
  50. It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
  51. I love when candy canes are in mint condition.
  52. Rebel without a Claus.
  53. You’re my soul Santa.
  54. What do snowmen eat for lunch? Ice burgers!
  55. What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap.
  56. What do you call an old snowman? Water.
  57. Where do snowmen keep money? In a snow bank.
  58. What do you call Frosty the Snowman in May? A puddle!
  59. Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners? Rude-alph!
  60. Why didn't the skeleton go to the Yule party? He had no-body to go with.
  61. What do you get if you combine Santa and a duck? A Xmas Quacker!
  62. What type of cars do elves drive? Toy-otas.
  63. When I think about you, I touch my elf.
  64. He is a fungi to be with.
  65. Eat, drink, and be tacky.
  66. I got my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. It’s a real stocking filler!
  67. You’ve got balls coming in here dressed like that.
  68. What is the worst Christmas present? A broken drum, you can't beat it.
  69. Did you hear about the mall Santa who lost his job? He was fired for Clause.
  70. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa clause? Claustrophobic.
  71. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he has visited? He keeps a log book.
  72. Why is Santa banned from sooty chimneys? Carbon footprints.
  73. What do you call a cow that lives in an igloo? An eskimoo.
  74. Santa's beard is so long because he's bad at shaving. Why do you think they call him Saint Nick?
  75. What kind of linens do gingerbread men put on their beds? Cookie sheets.
  76. Single bells, single bells, single all the way.
  77. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
  78. Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? They keep dropping their needles.
  79. Who hides in the bakery at Xmas? A mince spy.
  80. How do the elves clean Santa's sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer!
  81. What do snowmen have for breakfast? Snowflakes.
  82. Eat, drink, and be meowy.
  83. Have a meowy Christmas.
  84. Merry catmas! Hope you have a Purr-fect Holiday season!
  85. May your days be meowy and bright.
  86. All I want for Xmas is mew.
  87. Here comes Santa Claws, here comes Santa Claws…
  88. Catty Canes.
  89. The tree and I are getting lit this Christmas.
  90. Are you oakay? Yes, I'm pine!
  91. I love hanging with you this season.
  92. Never fir-get how beautiful Christmas trees are.
  93. Have a tree-mendous Christmas.
  94. Hey DJ, drop the needles. Can I get a watt watt?
  95. I think my tree and I have a really good chemis-tree.
  96. Don’t forget that everyone is rooting for you.
  97. This year my tree is #ballin.
  98. Ornamentary, my dear Watt-son.
  99. Hey tree, do not leaf me hanging.
  100. Looking at you is like reading poetree.
  101. Birch, please.
  102. I love the festive season more than you think.
  103. Yes, I do consider myself a Christmas tree hugger.
  104. I’m having fun fir sure.
  105. I love you a whole watt.
  106. What a de-light you are to be around.
  107. Advice from a tree: stand tall and proud, go out on a limb, remember your roots, and drink plenty of water.
 
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    🎉🍒JENNY’S SPA🎉🍒 ✅5170 DUNDAS STREET WEST✅ 👌ETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4👌 ☎️(647-893-5196)☎️Call or Text ☎️(437-888-3759)☎️Call Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅GRAND OPENING💯NEW GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥EXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNY’S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥TWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥 💯REAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS💯 🔥TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: Coco😘- A young cute blonde Asian girl makin
  35. ForeverWarden:
    Wednesday at 🫦❤️🔴🟥♾️𝓕𝓞𝓡𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓡 𝓢𝓟𝓐♾️🟥🔴❤️🫦2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough 𝟰𝟭𝟲-𝟴𝟬𝟬-𝟳𝟴𝟴𝟳: Bella, Cindy & Sasa. Bella is around 5’3” with a thin to medium build, C Cups, and a pleasing personality. She can offer dfk, bbbj and cfs as well as a good massage experience. Cindy is a slim beauty, 5’4”, natural C Cups & wonderfully long nipples. Her massage is nice, her bbbj will drive you wild
  36. bnwellness_wilson:
    Blue Nile Wellness Center, we have 4 young beautiful girls are working today, young sweet student Mia 25 years old and young GFE Angela, pretty nice Lina with 36 DD and sex Coco are providing deep tissue and sensual massage, pls call 416-3985777 book appointment and walk in aways welcome, back entrance and parking available, 350 Wilson Ave North York
  37. Dreaminn:
    WEDNESDAY at💭𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠 𝗜𝗡𝗡 𝗪𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗦𝗣𝗔💭: ANGELA, SOPHIA & TINA. 10225 Yonge St (North of Major Mackenzie), Richmond Hill, ON ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟴𝟮𝟵-𝟮𝟵𝟴𝟯 ☎️ ANGELA is a slim pretty lady from China, with natural boobs, slim waist and grabbable ass. SOPHIA is a young & beautiful 21 year old Vietnamese lady, slim with a nice booty, who has the services you need. TINA is a Vietnamese girl
  38. Endless Joy Spa:
    ✨✨✨✨✨[GRAND OPENING]✨✨✨✨✨ 💞Endless Joy Spa💞 🎇 (155 East Beaver Creek Rd Unit #8, Richmond Hill) 416-731-8565🎇10am-2am, Young Part Time Chinese Emma, Slim Thai Janice, Young Sexy CBC Rachel. Slim Sexy Chinese Kiki, Tall Slim Sexy Chinese Kelly, Young Sexy Chinese Abie.
  39. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom spa ♨️♨️♨️ table shower body scrub 👍👍👍We have 3 beautiful young girls working today, young and lovely New girl Suki and cici Specialising in table shower body scrub massages and offering deep massages Helen 🤗🤗🤗🤗5124 Dundas St W Etobicoke.Please call ☎️416-817-3366 to book and Walk in the back door there is plenty of parking available
  40. Red Rose Spa:
    🌸 We have 5 hot brown girls today 🌸 MALIYA, NISHA, AMANDA, ANGEL, PAYAL PEARL, AAVI, ANAYA 🌸 2588 Birchmount 🌸 2 Invergordon 🌸 647-702-8800 🌸 Please visit for a great erotic massage
  41. Lily Spa:
    ❤️ KAJAL, CAMILLA and KK are here today for your massage needs ❤️ Lily Spa ❤️ 2190 McNicoll ❤️ Scarborough ❤️ M1V 5M2 ❤️ (647) 531-8288 ❤️
  42. Endless Joy Spa:
    ✨✨✨✨✨[GRAND OPENING]✨✨✨✨✨ 💞Endless Joy Spa💞 🎇 (155 East Beaver Creek Rd Unit #8, Richmond Hill) 416-731-8565🎇10am-2am, Young Part Time Chinese Emma, Slim Thai Janice, Young Sexy CBC Rachel. Slim Sexy Chinese Kiki, Tall Slim Sexy Chinese Kelly, Young Sexy Chinese Abie.
  43. Flowers Spa:
    ✰ BlueXado Spa ✰ 416 357 9797 ✰1102 Centre St, Unit #6, Thornhill Vaughan 🇲🇾🇻🇳 MY LINH | LINDA a 21-year-old Vietnamese Malaysian, offers comfortable and professional full-body treatments 🇯🇵🇯🇵 TRACY (New) 22-year-old, petite Japanese, young & pretty face...Satisfy All Needs...After 9PM 🇻🇳🇻🇳 HANNA Vietnamese good, energetic medium body; also does lighter treatments with emphasis on service ✰ BlueXado Spa ✰ 416 357 9797 ✰1102 Centre St, Unit #6, Thornhill Vaughan ✰
  44. SpringGreen.:
    Spring Green Spa - 72 Gerrard St W. 2/Fl - 647-891-0699We have 5 young girls for your enjoyment Tuesday : :heart4:heart4 New girl lisa :heart4 Judy - well proportioned model to bring toe curling fun Rina - petite beauty ready to rock your world Lucy- tall leggy beauty with nice figure Barbie -...
  45. Jenny’s Spa:
    🎉🍒JENNY’S SPA🎉🍒 ✅5170 DUNDAS STREET WEST✅ 👌ETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4👌 ☎️(647-893-5196)☎️Call or Text ☎️(437-888-3759)☎️Call Only (ETOBICOKE) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅GRAND OPENING💯NEW GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥EXCELLENT MASSAGE + SERVICE QUEENS NOW AVAILABLE AT JENNY’S SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥TWO BEAUTIFUL NEW YOUNG ASIAN GIRLS EVERYDAY🔥 💯REAL PICTURES OF ATTENDANTS💯 🔥TODAY’s ROSTER INCLUDES: Julia😘 - A shy new Korean girl waiting to e
  46. Sparkling Spa:
    ⚡🌟SPARKLING SPA⚡🌟 ✅50 Lockridge Ave Unit 8✅ 👌Markham, ON L3R 8X4👌 ☎️(905) 604-8186 Spa Land Line☎️ ☎️(437) 446-6688 NEW Spa Cell Phone☎️ (West of Warden & 16th Ave) OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY 🔥✅NEW MANAGEMENT💯NEW GIRLS🔥SUPERSTAR SERVICE QUEENS AVAILABLE AT SPARKLING SPA FOR ALL YOUR MASSAGE AND SPECIAL EXTRA NEEDS🔥💯😘🔥❤️👌 🔥SEXY NEW YOUNG GIRLS ALWAYS WORKING - Today’s Schedule is…🔥 Zoe - 🔥Stunning Tall Taiwanese Service Queen with Endless Passion and Sensuality who Wa
  47. KSpa:
    WEDNESDAY at 𝐊 𝐒𝐏𝐀: ANA, KELLY, SUKI & CINDY. Unit B6-4227 Sheppard Ave East Scarborough, ON (Just East of Midland Ave) ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟳𝟵𝟮-𝟳𝟱𝟲𝟴 ☎️ ANA is a pretty lady standing 5’4” & weighing 115 Lbs, with 36C melons and a very sexy body. KELLY stands 5’3” & weighs 110 Lbs, with nice 34D pillows to comfort you. SUKI is 23, 5’2” & 100 Lbs, 34C with a slim & sweet sexy body.
  48. Moon203:
    MoonMoon spa/416 887 8801/8131Yonge st #203 Indian girl 22ys big boobs butt small girl and college student luan in today
  49. SunriseRH:
    TUESDAY at 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗘 𝗦𝗣𝗔: MICHELLE, SOPHIA & SUMMER. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 27, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟯𝟮𝟱-𝟴𝟬𝟴𝟲 ☎️ MICHELLE is a young, curvaceous beauty, 5’2” & 130Lbs, 37DDD-31-41, a trim waist, and a nice butt. Come and be pampered. SOPHIA is a young slim very pretty lady with natural B Cup melons & a great booty. Sophia has very versatile services.
  50. NewOriental:
    TUESDAY at 𝗡𝗘𝗪 𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗟 𝗦𝗣𝗔: HAPPY & VIVIAN. 10 East Wilmot St, Unit 26, Richmond Hill, on ☎️ 𝟲𝟰𝟳-𝟯𝟴𝟭-𝟮𝟲𝟴𝟴 ☎️ HAPPY is a slim & busty Korean lady with great massage skills & lots of extra fun. VIVIAN is a pretty & very sexy Chinese doll, standing 5’7” tall, with a slim figure. Vivian is very friendly and versatile.
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